How to ask your network for work without being awkward

To ask your network for work without it being awkward, make the ask specific and make it easy to act on. Send a short personal message, one person at a time, that says what you do, the exact kind of client you are looking for, and one simple thing they can do (pass on your number, or reply with a name). Vague asks ("let me know if you hear of anything") feel awkward because they put the work on the other person. Specific asks feel like a favour they can do in thirty seconds. Most people are happy to help someone they know. They just need to be told how.

Why this is the highest-converting outreach there is

Your network already trusts you. That is the hardest thing to buy in marketing, and you start with it. A stranger who sees an ad has to decide whether you are any good. A friend who hears "my mate does this, he is good" has already decided.

It is also the cheapest channel you have. No ad spend, no software, no list to build. The only cost is an evening writing messages and the small discomfort of sending them.

The catch is that your network does not know what you need. Your old colleague knows you "do something with websites" or "are a plumber now". They do not know you want landlords with five or more properties, or that you have just started offering bathroom refits. Until you tell them, they cannot spot the opportunity when it walks past.

Why most network asks fail

The usual network ask is a Facebook post or a LinkedIn update: "Excited to announce I have started my own business! Let me know if you need anything." It gets some likes and nothing else.

It fails for three reasons:

• It is broadcast, not personal. A post to 400 people feels like it is addressed to someone else. A message to one person feels like it is addressed to them.
• It is vague. "Anything" gives nobody a picture to match against. "A landlord with a few flats in Reading" does.
• There is no next step. The reader has to work out what helping would look like. Most will not bother.

The fix for all three is the same message, written properly.

The message, line by line

A good network message has four parts and fits on a phone screen.

1. A personal opener. One line that shows this is not a copy-paste. Reference something real: the last time you spoke, their new job, their kids starting school.

2. What you do, in one sentence. Plain words. "I have set up on my own doing bookkeeping for small building firms." Not your mission statement.

3. Who you are looking for. This is the part people skip, and it is the part that does the work. Be specific enough that they can picture a person. "I am after builders or roofers turning over a few hundred thousand who are still doing their own books on a Sunday night."

4. One easy next step. "If anyone comes to mind, could you pass on my number?" or "If you know anyone like that, would you mind sending me their name so I can drop them a line and mention you?"

Put together:

Hi Sarah, hope the new role is going well. Quick one: I have set up on my own doing bookkeeping for small building firms. I am looking for builders or roofers who are still doing their own books on a Sunday night and hating it. If anyone comes to mind, would you mind passing on my number? 07700 900123. No worries if not, and thanks either way.

Use it as a template and change the details every time. Seventy words, one ask, nothing to decode.

Who to send it to

Write a list before you write any messages. Go through these sources and aim for 50 to 100 names:

• Phone contacts and WhatsApp chats
• Former colleagues and managers
• Friends, and friends' partners
• Family, including the cousins you only see at weddings
• Past clients and suppliers from previous jobs
• People from clubs, the gym, the school gate, your church or mosque
• Your accountant, your solicitor, your bank manager if you have one

Then sort the list into three groups:

• Likely buyers. People who might need you themselves.
• Connectors. People who know lots of people in your target market. An estate agent friend if you are a tradesperson. A friend who works in HR if you are a recruiter or trainer.
• Everyone else. Still worth a message. You do not know who their brother-in-law is.

Start with the connectors. One good connector is worth twenty general contacts.

How to send it

Keep it one to one. A personal WhatsApp, text, or email to each person, with their name and your personal opener. It takes longer than a group message. It also works, and the group message does not.

Do not paste your contacts into a mailing tool and send a newsletter. Marketing email to individuals needs their consent under regulation 22 of PECR, and a bulk mailing to your phone book is exactly the kind of message that rule covers. If you want an ongoing way to stay in touch with people who have said yes, build a proper list instead. Our guide on how to build an email list covers that.

Send ten a day rather than all at once. You will have replies to answer, and you want to give each one proper attention.

What to do when people reply

Most replies fall into four types:

• "I will keep an eye out." Thank them. Most will forget, and that is fine. You have planted the seed.
• "Actually, I might need that." Treat it like any other enquiry. Reply the same day, ask a couple of questions, and give a clear quote. Do not discount because they are a friend unless you want to.
• "You should speak to X." Ask if they would mind making an introduction, or whether you can mention their name when you get in touch. A warm introduction converts far better than you contacting X cold.
• No reply. Normal. People are busy. Do not chase more than once.

Whatever happens, close the loop. If someone passes you a name and it turns into work, tell them and thank them properly. A handwritten card or a decent bottle of wine costs little and makes them far more likely to do it again.

Follow-up without being a nuisance

One follow-up, about three months later, is enough. Make it news, not a repeat of the ask: "I have just finished a job for a builder in Woodley that Sarah put me in touch with, and I have room for two more clients like that this spring." It reminds people what you do, shows it is working, and gives them a fresh reason to think of you.

After that, the best follow-up is visibility. Post your finished work where your network can see it. Our guide to social media for small businesses covers which platforms are worth the time. When your old colleague sees a photo of a finished kitchen every few weeks, you stay top of mind without asking again.

If you have just started

New businesses have the most to gain here. In your first few months, your network is often your only warm channel, and the first two or three clients it produces give you reviews, photos and case studies for every channel after it. If you are at that stage, our checklist for the first 30 days after starting a business puts this ask in week one.

Before you send anything, make sure there is somewhere sensible to point people. A one-page site that says what you do, who it is for and how to book is enough. If yours rambles, our guide on writing website copy that converts will tighten it.

Your first ten messages

Tonight, write your list. Pick the ten people most likely to know someone in your target market. Write each of them the four-part message above, with a real personal opener. Send them tomorrow morning.

For the rest of the order of play, including which outreach channels suit your trade, see our get clients guide.